My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
