my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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