my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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