I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
