Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
