ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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