that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize