he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
