plz talk dirty to me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
