we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
