I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize