im drinking this country out of the recession.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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