i permit you to call me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
