I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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