your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
