Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize