So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
