dude i'm inner monologue high
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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