tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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