you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
