Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
