you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
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Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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