I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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