I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
