you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
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Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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