I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
