My room smells like vodka and shame
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
