I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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