Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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