So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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