Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
