I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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