Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
