Jerry, you need to find god
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
