can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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