we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
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All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
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And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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