i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
