i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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