i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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