are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
