Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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