Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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