Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
