i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
