i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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