I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
