when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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