I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize