Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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