Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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