worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
