You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
