I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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