Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
