we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
