So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
