no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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