weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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