Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
