I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
