I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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